I can honestly say I have had those days where I was an absolute demon for no apparent reason. Did I need to stamp my feet that we had run out of chocolate? Did I need to scream if his towel was screwed up on the floor. YES. Well no i suppose I didn’t need to do that.
I could be as happy as Larry, laughing and joking with Andrew about something or other, then I get up to pee for the 124th time of the day and then I see it…The towel that I asked him to pick up from the floor 123 times before, still screwed up at the SIDE of the wash basket. ‘’AAAAAAAH$%@&**!!!’’ It would have been easier to just pick it up myself the first time than get myself angrier and angrier each and every time I went into the bathroom. But thats not the point? How will he learn. What if my child grows up and doesn’t put her clothes in the wash basket and leaves them at the side because she saw her dad do it EVERY MORNING! So I make a point of dragging him to the bathroom to show him how to do it, but I don’t stop there! My monster pregnancy hormones move into hyperdrive and I go absolutely ape sh$@*$*! Then I storm out crying shouting that he never helps me. Then I start to cry because he does help me sometimes, he really does. I may have to ask him a few times but he does help. Then I think, I shouldn’t be too hard on him. So I walk into the living room, apologise, give him a big cuddle and a kiss and then I see it… He has kicked his shoes off, one in the middle of the room, one poking out from under the sofa! ARE YOU F@$%&*!!! KIDDING ME! And the vicious cycle starts again.
I will always remember when I was around 28 weeks pregnant and we went out for tea with my parents, sister and grandparents at my mums local pub. I was trying to tell them a story of what happened to me the other day, probably about peeing myself more than likely, (oh yes I don’t know what its like for you, but for me I peed myself when I laughed too hard, threw up, coughed, sneezed… I could go on.) So, I was telling this story and I started laughing so hard that I could no longer speak, my eyes had started to tear up I was chuckling that badly, the story wasn’t even that funny, but for some reason I just couldn’t stop laughing. Then I managed to stop, but instead of just stopping and carrying on with this never ending story, I started to cry, hard. Why? Hormones.
On a similar note, whilst traveling from Newcastle to West Yorkshire I had put my phone through the car, you know where you can get it to read your texts out. I remember my sister Tilly had text me and it read out her name as I had written it in my phone (see photo) and it had literally read it out how it was written. “Tilly, chrysanthemum, yellow heart, lollypop” and i wet myself. Literally. I was laughing so hard I threw up and then peed myself. Its a good job I was in the passenger seat!
Its understandable, we have all of these new pregnancy hormones flooding our systems and they can be too much, we get stressed, we get tired, were anxious. As much as I was excited about having a baby I would have breathless moments where I would have to sit myself down, I would worry too much about what was happening that I would have a panic attack. What if I’m not a good mum? What if my relationship with Andrew goes on the rocks because of the stress of having a baby? Will the baby be healthy? How much is this going to cost? Can we afford it? Should I be reading more pregnancy books? Then I make myself a cup of tea and calm down and feel my baby kick and I forget about everything. Its not worth getting yourself upset over. Especially not on your own. Its better to talk your worries and concerns over with your partner if they’re around, or your parents, midwives. Whoever! Once you get it off your chest I promise you you will feel so much better. I know I did.
Being pregnant is no walk in the park, in fact I couldn’t even walk in the park my hips, back, ankles and feet hurt me that much.