Marriage, Motherhood & Me

Wife of Andrew, Mum of Hallie Kate & Toby

Its hard being a new mum. Its beautiful, exciting and breathtaking. But its hard. When you deliver the baby, you would hope to also deliver the baby manual that tells you what every cry means, how to breastfeed properly, how to make sure that your baby feels loved every single minute of the day. But instead, you deliver the placenta. How disappointing. So we have to figure these things out ourselves. With a little help from our mums, grans, friends, our health visitors and the internet. We will make mistakes, we will learn from them. We just have to figure it out as we go along. I am not ashamed to say I am winging it. I am not ashamed to say that I ask for help. Sometimes I stay in my PJ’s all day, I don’t shower, and I don’t care. Sometimes I just want her to go to sleep so I can have some time to myself. When she does nap I find myself staring at her, how perfect she is, and then all I want is to wake her up so I can kiss and hug her. Then I remember how good it would be to eat something and maybe spray some deodorant so I leave her sleeping, but not before taking 139 photos of her cute squishy sleeping face.

I am lucky to have a husband who shares all the baby duties with me when he’s not at work. In the beginning he did everything bar feeding her, as I was solely breast feeding that task belonged only to me. He would still get up through the night to change her nappy and comfort her though and when she was hungry It was my turn. He understood that mums need there sleep too. Even though he has work the next morning, he still has a duty to care for his daughter and he does that, with every part of his being. He understood that it would be unfair of him to get a full nights sleep and for me to be the only one to get up through the night every 2 hours for nappy changes, cuddles and feeds just because she was breastfed. Now, I have introduced her to the bottle, and although she is mainly breastfed, if I am struggling with the frequent feeds through the night he can help out. I can honestly hand on my heart say that I have never heard him complain about anything to do with his daughter. He is my rock and if the day is getting too much for me and he can see I’m a second away from tearing up he will wrap his big arms around me, give me a big kiss and tell me I am doing a great job and I believe him.

J x

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